“Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves.” ~Matthew 7:15
The topic of singlehood has been on my mind because I’m currently writing my book titled, “How To Live An Extraordinary Life, With Or Without Mr. Right, A Christian woman’s guide on how to survive and thrive on Single Avenue (download the introduction and chapter 1 by clicking here).
I’ve seen some wolves out there advertising themselves as Christian Dating coaches or Christian Life Coaches with an emphasis on “coaching” single Christian women who desire to be married. Whenever I see folks who “specialize” in this, I can’t help but shake my head and laugh out of bewilderment. It is amazing to me the levels people will stoop to in order to make money.
To each its own, but I would NEVER, in a million years, spend my hard-earned money on this nonsense. Sadly, the women who often are running these types of programs, either intentionally or unintentionally, are conveying the message that marriage is something to be idolized or viewed as the ultimate prize. In either case this is not true. They provide faulty advice like you need to pray for a husband, insinuating that this is the missing piece of the puzzle to explain why you are single.
Spoiler alert…it’s not. There is nothing in the Bible that states you should pray for a husband or that it is wrong not to pray for a husband. This is a personal choice. I am not aligned with the mindset that you should pray for a husband for a variety of reasons. Many people fail to understand that God will NOT answer our prayers when we’re not ready. Therefore, when we keep praying every day for something that God has said no to or you’re not ready yet, we become discouraged. This discouragement leads to all sorts of negative emotions, such as frustration, depression, insecurity, and the list goes on. Even worse, some may try to take the matter into our own hands, and then we get stuck with Mr. Wrong.
By the way, some of the most successful Christian marriages I know, the women did not pray for a husband. Mr. Right just came across their path. If you want to get technical further, reinforce Proverbs 18: 22 A man that finds a wife finds a good thing. He’s supposed to find you, not you out there hunting for Him.
If you want to be married, great; if you want to be single, that’s great as well. However, I will never be on board with folks who wish to prey on the vulnerability of women who have yet to realize that they are already complete with or without Mr. Right.
Over the weekend, I was approached by one of these wolves, aka Christian Life Coaches, who specializes in helping singles (I’m using air quotes when I say this) contacted me to see if I would be interested in collaborating. She started off by saying that she loved the episode where I read the introduction and chapter 1 of my book and wanted to collaborate with me. She thought I would be in a position to help “encourage” some women currently enrolled in her single women’s course that were around my age. Obviously, I saw right away that our messages conflicted and politely declined her invitation, and told her my contact information and to share it with those women who needed encouragement. I’d be more than happy to connect with them this way. I then wished the “coach” to have a great weekend.
This so-called Christian Life Coach was irate; she responded, attempting to sell me on her little stupid coaching program, and told me why she would not share my podcast or my contact information with the same women she literally asked me to encourage and that I was misled in my approach to how I view singlehood. If this was truly the case, this wolf would not have contacted me.
I again told this person that I disagreed with their perspective on life and wished them to have a great weekend. I blocked them on Instagram because, clearly, they have mental issues. Ladies, please be careful with who you choose to receive advice from because there are way too many folks out there who are a couple of fries short of a happy meal preying on folks’ vulnerability. They are giving horrible advice and making folks’ lives unnecessarily worse.
As you can see, this so-called coach was not interested in helping these women. This coach knew that if these women and I had a conversation outside of her ridiculous program, she would lose her clients. Money is clearly her motivation, not helping single women.
To all my Christian single ladies, you don’t need a course on how to date a Christian man. God’s given you all the guidance you need through His word. These wolves leading these “coaching programs” are not in a position to guarantee you a mate. Only God knows if and when this is in the cards for you.
In the meantime, save your coins. Continue to seek God first, and you will, without a doubt, find your path to living an extraordinary life with or without Mr. Right, plus with all the money you saved yourself from participating in this nonsense, will place yourself in a position to increase your savings so you can go treat yourself.
