This blog post has been turned into a podcast which can be accessed here.
I defy the expectations of a Christian woman.
I’m 35 years old. Single. Never been married. I don’t have any children. Many people within society would automatically assume that something must be wrong with me. I expect that type of scrutiny from those outside the Church, but it’s especially annoying when it comes from other so-called Christians.
There is absolutely nothing in the Bible that commands women to get married or have children. Being married does not validate my existence as a woman. In fact, if you read in 1 Cor 7: 8-9, Paul was encouraging people to refrain from marriage. Again, he wasn’t stating that it was a sin to get married but it is best if you do not. Hence, why Christ, John the Baptist, Paul, and other saints did not get married. Apostle Paul warned people about the additional trouble marriage can bring.
Most people fail to realize that some of us are single because we choose to be. For example, I’m too busy enjoying my life…as is. I love living in a jet setting type of lifestyle. If my bank account would cooperate with me, I would be constantly traveling. I thoroughly enjoy learning new languages (I speak Spanish), cultures, etc. Plus, I thoroughly enjoy my profession (I heart all things digital marketing). I would love to teach more virtual and in-person workshops, but again that pesky bank account issue…;)
I know that in order for a marriage to be successful BOTH people have to be strong independent people that are both willing to come together as one. I have yet to meet someone who I feel would match my lifestyle goals and desire to live a Christian life. Until this happens, I’m not in a hurry to get married. If it happens, it happens. Marriage is NOT to be treated lightly. When you lead a fulfilling lifestyle, you tend to look at the glass half full not empty. Therefore, if I found someone who matched my vibe I’d be open to marriage.
So many people these days treat marriage like a pair of shoes. You can always get another pair if you don’t like them anymore. This is NOT the type of mindset that neither I nor my future husband will subscribe to for our marriage. I want us both fighting the good fight to cleanse our soul and keeping our focus on pleasing God. This will inadvertently ensure that we have an awesome marriage.
If this person exists, I’m sure God will allow our paths to cross one day. Until our paths cross, I’ll continue living the extraordinary Christian life all by myself plotting my next vacation destination.
Now I’m sure some folks are already freaking out thinking, “Well, you can’t wait too long if you want kids.” Thank you for your concern about my ovaries, but it’s really none of your business. I’m quite aware of my age. Now, here’s the beautiful thing, drumroll, please… I have no plans on having children.
I absolutely love my life the way it is. Some may consider it to be “selfish” to not have children. It’s not selfish to not have children. It’s selfish when you have children and don’t take care of them. I’m always amazed when the very same folks who question my decision to not have children are the same ones who end up leaving them with their grandparents to raise, stick them in daycare, or some type of boarding school when they don’t need to do so, etc. They do not take time to raise their children but look down on folks like me who refuse to follow in their footsteps.
Having children is a lot of work. I do not want to have this responsibility. Again, if you desire to live the type of Christian lifestyle that I lead (always on the go), children do not fit in the game plan. What works for you, does not work for me.
I’m living the extraordinary life God gave me. I suggest you do the same.